


I kissed a girl

by GaneWhoo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Before Sanvers, Friendship, Gen, Mention of Maggie Sawyer - Freeform, Set after Changing, Talks around a coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaneWhoo/pseuds/GaneWhoo
Summary: “Danvers. Long time no see.”
Despite the hangover and her miserable state of mind, Alex smiled. She looked up to face Lucy Lane, beautiful as ever in her professional attire and with hair floating around her flawless features, a soft, friendly smile etched on her lips. For a few seconds, memories of them working together at the DEO flooded her mind and she realized Lucy Lane was one of those girls she had buried deep, deep in her thoughts to avoid thinking about her sexuality.
“May I?” The former major asked, pointing at the seat in front of Alex. She didn’t wait for the answer before claiming the spot, putting the pile of files she was carrying on one side of the table and waving a waitress to ask for a coffee. Black, no sugar. The order came in shortly and the very strong smell made Alex’s stomach churn unpleasantly.
---

  Set after 2x06 "Changing" and in which Lucy Lane shows up to talk some sense into a very hungover Alex Danvers.





	

“Danvers. Long time no see.”

Despite the hangover and her miserable state of mind, Alex smiled. She looked up to face Lucy Lane, beautiful as ever in her professional attire and with hair floating around her flawless features, a soft, friendly smile etched on her lips. For a few seconds, memories of them working together at the DEO flooded her mind and she realized Lucy Lane was one of those girls she had buried deep, deep in her thoughts to avoid thinking about her sexuality.

“May I?” The former major asked, pointing at the seat in front of Alex. She didn’t wait for the answer before claiming the spot, putting the pile of files she was carrying on one side of the table and waving a waitress to ask for a coffee. Black, no sugar. The order came in shortly and the very strong smell made Alex’s stomach churn unpleasantly.

“What are you doing here, Director Lane?” She asked, opting for breathing with the mouth. She had always been proud of her very high tolerance for alcohol but yesterday, she had reached the limit. She went above and beyond it and today her body was making her pay. She stared into Lucy’s cup, uneasy but trying to act like if everything was fine.

“Paperwork. Since I am now the new director of the DEO’s desert facility, I have to report to the government once a month. Budgets, strategy, new ideas to fight the aliens intruders … and thanks to our president and the new treaty, we can now adjust our activities. Which means more meetings and paperwork … Fancy meeting you here, isn’t it?” Lucy was smiling but her eyes were searching for something on Alex’s face.  
She knew it wouldn’t take long for the former military to figure out that something was wrong. Lucy Lane had always been very intuitive, it came with her noisy nature.

“Spill, Danvers. You’ve been drinking again, I’m guessing something is bothering you.” Alex made a face and closed her eyes. It took even less time than she had anticipated for Lucy to know exactly what she had been up to. Groaning, Alex shook her head and muttered between gritted teeth “Leave it alone, Lucy. I mean it.”

“The hell I am. You know, I can speak louder if you don’t hear me well, that’s not a problem” Lucy ended her sentence doing exactly that, raising her voice. It echoed inside of Alex’s head like a thousand of gunshots, endlessly. She raised one hand to surrender, whimpering “Please don’t.” Lucy smiled that annoying, sufficient smug smile of her and sipped at her coffee, waiting for Alex to start talking.

“Gosh, I hate you, Lane.” Alex groaned, massaging her closed eyes for a few seconds before opening them to watch her friend and former boss. She was too tired and miserable to keep things bottled up like this. She figured out she could tell Lucy everything, even if they weren’t that close anymore. Work and personal drama were always keeping the both of them busy.  
She opened her mouth to talk but she suddenly realized she had no idea where to start. Everything was blurred and still swirling in her mind, too close and yet too far away at the same time. It was a freaking mess inside of her head and she was exhausted, weak and still a bit drunk from a night of numbing the pain away with every bottle she could find in her apartment.

“I kissed a girl.” She blurted, blinking a few times. Lucy barely moved at all, only arching a brow before taking another sip of coffee. When she noticed that Alex was expectantly staring at her, she simply asked “And ? Did you like it?”

Alex frowned and groaned “Are you seriously asking or are you quoting Katy Perry?” She shook her head and realized she had moved too fast. Again, everything started spinning around her and she groaned.

“I am sincerely asking.” The softness in Lucy’s voice was genuine and it startled her, more than the lack of reaction. She didn’t know what she had been expecting but this gentle concern etched on Lucy’s features wasn’t part of the reactions she could have envisioned. She remembered the rocky start, Lucy Lane working for her father and against every alien on the planet and then trying to have her imprisoned, the tension between them during the interrogation, the sparkles of anger and something else, something she refused to acknowledge at the time. They came a long way, since then.

“I … I felt so free. I never felt this free before in my entire life.” It was barely a whisper but it seemed deafening to her, like the thunder in a summer night. Like a truth finally revealed.

She sighed and groaned “But anyway, she didn’t feel the same way.” She waved the waitress to order a glass of water, something to chase the bittersweet taste in her mouth. She didn’t know if it was from her feelings or for the abuse of alcohol the night before but she didn’t want to dwell on it. She only wanted to get rid of it.

“That’s sad and I am really sorry for you, but I am also very happy for you.” Lucy said with a smile, empathy shining in her green, green eyes.

Alex arched a brow and asked “Happy? Hell, I have no reason to be happy right now, as you can probably tell.” Lucy shook her head and countered “That’s not true, you said it yourself. You felt free, which mean you finally realized who you are and that’s huge, Alex. I am happy that you can now live your life without repressing or hiding that part of you. She, whoever she is, doesn’t feel the same way and yes, this is sad but you’ve put yourself out there, you were brave and you should keep up the good work. You’ve done the hardest part, Alex. Now, you can try to move on.”

Alex frown got deeper and she tilted her head to the side. Lucy was obviously right but she couldn’t bring herself to go out now. Not after yesterday’s debacle. “No. It’s too soon.” She said, avoiding looking Lucy in the eyes.

“You never struck me as a coward, Danvers.” Lucy said, casually sipping at her coffee. Alex glared at her, annoyed by the comment she didn’t deserve. It wasn’t even fair and she was about to reply with a sarcastic comment when Lucy continued “You are the bravest person I know and also the most badass, so get over yourself and start living. You are finally free to be completely yourself so don’t find excuses not to. This woman, I still don’t know her name, isn’t the only one that will reject you and deep down, you know it. This is the reality of love life, it’s hard and full of deceptions. You will have feelings that won’t be reciprocated, it’s okay. You can drink a few glasses, wallow for one night with junk food, ice cream, bad movies but then, you move on. It’s life, Agent Danvers.”

Alex stared at her friend and wondered out loud “Hell, when did you become so wise?” Lucy shrugged and then smiled before finishing her cup of coffee. “I was always this wise. You just never needed such a pep talk before.” Alex made a face and drank her glass of water in a few gulps. She sighed and said “I just thought she was … I thought I read everything right.”

Lucy relaxed against the back of the leather armchair and softly asked “Do you want to talk about her and what happened?”

“I really don’t, no.” Alex groaned and waved the waitress to ask for a refill of water. The young woman brought her a new glass and walked away with the empty one.

“Can I at least ask what is her name?” Lucy pushed, never been one to take no for a definitive answer.

Alex sighed and muttered “Maggie. Maggie Sawyer, she’s a detective for the NCPD. We met a few weeks ago when the president was in danger, she showed up on my crime scene. Of course, she had no idea I was here for alien activities, I pretended to be an FBI agent. We had a slight bumpy start but then we helped each other on a bunch of cases, she brought me to an alien bar, we played pool a few times, sharing drinks, stories …”

Alex suddenly realized she was spilling everything to Lucy, who was listening closely. “How on earth can you … why, how did I ended up talking to you about her?” Alex asked, annoyed at herself. Lucy smiled smugly again and shrugged “Because you need to, apparently. Come on, go on.”

She invited Alex to continue her story and the DEO agent sighed. She had no idea how she landed in that situation in the first place, she simply wanted a moment away from her trashed apartment and now she was telling the story of her failed love life to Lucy Lane of all people.

“I just … One day, practically the day we met now that I think about it, she told me one of the waitress in that alien bar was her ex. That’s how I learned she was gay. She had a new girlfriend at the time, a pretty tall brown-haired girl with a doe-loved look … Then they broke up and Maggie seemed … really down. I mean, a break-up is never easy but she was taking it really hard and I tried to help … What a mess.” She muttered at the end, realizing the drama it had been. She saw Lucy open her mouth to say something so she cut her short “Yeah. I was screwed, I know. I just … I was up all night thinking about her, about the warmth in my chest when I was with her, the flutter in my stomach when she smiled, the weakness in the knees each time she came a bit too close … Oh my gosh I can’t believe I sound so cheesy.”

Alex laughed bitterly and swallowed a few gulps of water. Lucy didn’t say anything. She was leaning against the back of her chair, simply looking at Alex with a soft smile on her lips, waiting for the rest of the story.

“She thought I was gay and I got scared, I denied it and walked away. It took me a full day to realize she was probably right and I was so … terrified. But in the end, I went to her and I told her there was some truth about what she said, about me. She understood. Then yesterday, after a long, emotional day where I came to term with who I am, when I also came out to Kara, I kissed her. It was … It was everything. But what’s the point, she told me she was very proud of me for coming out but that she didn’t feel the same way.” Alex finished with a groan as her stomach churned painfully. She was hurting, feeling her heart’s drumming beat echo in her head like a cacophony.

“Well, it seems to me that you scared her.”

Lucy’s voice was soft and a little distant. Alex looked up to her and noticed the thoughtful look on the former major. She frowned and sarcastically replied “Oh yeah sure, I scared her.”

Lucy scowled at her and then smiled “Come on Alex. Feelings can be terrifying, you of all people should know that now. You scared her by coming out FOR her. It’s not easy being the object of such feelings, especially when it’s new and shiny and … exhilarating. My guess is that she is afraid of being just … a start. You know, the one person to open the door to a totally new world only to be easily forgotten later on as you will make your way into the unknown. Give her some time and in the end, she might realize that in the end, she does want to be that person. Of course, I can be totally wrong, I am only reading the situation through your vision of it and I obviously don’t know Maggie.”

Alex tilted her head to the left and stared at Lucy with big, wide eyes. Her voice barely a whisper, she asked “Who are you and what have you done to Lucy Lane?”

She was still suffering from a stammering hangover but she was lucid enough to know she just heard the voice of reason. Lucy’s speech was slowly making its way up to Alex’s brain and she was beginning to realize the former major was probably right. Still, she was hurting and she was bitter.

“I’m the one who’s new to all of it, it took everything I had to come out to Kara and I am frightened as hell to have to do that with my mother but she’s the one that got scared?” Alex countered, this time louder so Lucy could hear it perfectly.

“I never said it was right or logical, Alex. Feelings, remember. It can do all sort of funny things to even the most courageous person on earth. Or in the universe.” Lucy added with a knowing smile. Alex knew she was talking about Kara, who was struggling to come to term with her own feelings for James, for Mon-El and for a mentor she wasn’t able to mourn correctly as she still waited for her return.

“I still don’t think it’s fair.” Alex muttered and Lucy laughed openly at the snarky comment. The former military called the waitress and asked for another cup of coffee before replying “Nothing’s ever fair. You should give her space and time and see what comes out of it.”

“Yeah and if nothing happens, it’s hope wasted all over again.” Alex protested with a wave of her hand. Lucy shrugged and said “And if I am right and that she does come back to you?”

Alex opened her mouth to answer but nothing came. She thought back of yesterday’s kiss, the feeling of freedom and infinity that had overwhelmed her, the taste of vodka and peach lipstick invading her mouth as soft, tempting lips were pressed against her owns. She remembered her mind going totally blank as her heart had frantically threatened to destroy her rib cage.

She sighed and whispered “Then I’ll be …”

“Happy.” Lucy supplied. Alex nodded without saying anything, thinking of that word over and over again. She had never been really, truly, perfectly happy and she knew it. For so long, she had been fine with the idea of never reaching that utopia everyone seemed to chase after. She had figured it wasn’t for her.

Then yesterday, she had a taste of it.

“Honestly, would you rather give up on hope for he to come around and never have a chance at it or risking having your last hope crushed and maybe end up happy, finally happy?” Lucy pushed knowingly. Alex sighed and shook her head.

“I don’t know, you’re confusing me right now.” She lied, closing her eyes to avoid the sarcastic look Lucy would no doubt give her.

“Liar.” Lucy stated, not falling for Alex’s attitude.

“I know. It’s just … it’s so fresh and I am seriously hungover right now, I see your point I do but I’m just … bitter and not ready to take another plunge at it.” Alex explained, opening her eyes to look directly into Lucy’s green ones.

“I never said you have to do that right away. I just suggested that you give her time and space, which mean you can also have it. Take time to yourself, keep going with your life … even trying to move on, you know, if you really don’t believe there is a chance she will come around.” Lucy said in a soft, gentle tone. She was making all the sense in the world and Alex knew it, she was just not really in the mood to agree with it.

“Yeah. Something like that. Does that mean you are going to leave me alone with that now?” She asked, glaring at her friend to make it clear the discussion was closed.

“For now, yes.” Lucy replied with a smug smile. Alex found that smile really annoying and yet, she was glad it was there. Really glad.

“Thanks, Lucy. Really.” She said, seriously grateful for her friend being there when she hadn’t expected it at all.

“You’re very welcome, that’s what friends are for. Talking some sense into you when you most need it, you know. And being a pain in your ass, occasionally.” Lucy chuckled at Alex vigorous nod, immediately followed by a painful groan.

“How much alcohol did you drink last night exactly?” Lucy asked, arching a brow as Alex winced.

“Way too much. Waaay too much.” The DEO agent replied honestly.

“Well done, Alex. Well done. On that lecturing note, off I am. Don’t be a stranger Danvers, call me someday.” Lucy stood up and threw a card with her number on the table. Alex took it with a smile, noticing the handwritten number at the back of it.

“Oh, one last thing. Coffees are on you. Payment for being your shrink, you know.”

“Hey, come on, you asked for it!” Alex protested with a groan.

“Yeah, doesn’t mean I can’t take something out of it. See you Alex, take care!.” Lucy said before walking away, that unnerving smug smile etched on her lips.

Alex stared at her long after she was gone.

Eventually, she rose up, left a couple of notes on the table next and exited the coffee shop as well, with a lighter heart than when she entered it a few hours earlier.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> Sorry about this little piece, I just miss Lucy Lane and in my mind, she is one of Alex's best friends so here we go.
> 
> Have fun!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr, I am **lost-your-memory**


End file.
